New expressions, like newborns or anything generationally nascent have, in a sense, always been with us. So, in a way, they're not really new, but just at a stage where they shortly are assigned, by usage and popularity, to the vocabulary of mainstream American English or in some cases are rejected or abandoned by degrees through indifference or the fickle pronouncements of vogue mongers who many of us slavishly kowtow to, though in most cases these manipulators of new lingo are promoters of this junk. The following phrases or expressions have grown in recent years, like unpleasant weeds in a garden. And while they may yet prove to be "plants" not hardy enough to survive until a welcome mat is placed before them by the folks who prepare the O.E.D., their nuisance value is enormous particularly since they are so typically used to express attitudes (a limited collection of them), but all with unpleasant undertones that underscore the zeitgeist in most unappealing ways. And so, like dangerous potholes in a road it is worth warning one about such verbal hazards. Brevity is a chief characteristic (nothing wrong with that, at least on first flush). Exultant emotionalism is another. And dismissiveness, together with a short attention span, are features of these new expressions or rather they echo such mindsets of the great mass of people who use these very dull tools of communication with predictability and numbing repetitiveness.
Here is the list: 1) "Is this great or what?" (Why am I enjoined to ascertain how wonderful a situation is, one that the person experiencing the positive news or event obviously knows the answer to? There's something almost furtive and self-protective about not wanting to indulge in an expression of unbounded joy, as if one has found a diamond ring and is more concerned about the coast being clear of a possible rightful owner). Suggestion: use instead "This is wonderful news. I couldn't be happier." 2) "Whatever!" (Is mentation too exhausting for the person who uses this mind-deadening word? The deliberate cloudiness of this unenlightening remark seems to signal supreme indifference that leaves a person at sea regarding what may be an important matter to him/her. A non-committal remark like this is less desirable than an emphatic rebuke or sharp criticism that, while it might bruise an ego, let's someone know where he/she stands and might lead to enlightenment or clarification that may edify both parties. But "NO-OOOO!", in the words of the late John Belushi's character on Saturday Night Live, our self-indulgence of demonstrating our world weariness or smugness about our jaded world view is a higher priority than striving for excellent communication with a fellow human). Suggestion: Try venturing an opinion rather than expressing a moodiness reminiscent of one lounging on a couch while yawning in another's face and passing gas. 3)"Shut up!" (That this weatherbeaten expression of rude rejection has developed in many cases into a positive remark, i.e. a simple substitution for "Hey, you're kidding!" is quite amazing. It seems that the implied violence of the phrase is preserved and calculatedly so. Again, like "Is this great or what?", there is a pessimism and defensiveness, that conveys the wish to remain unharmed by what may prove to be faux good news and so there is a kind of pre-emption that almost threatens the bearer of good news to not taunt by giving such unreliable tidings). Suggestion: use instead "You're kidding me, pal! I can't believe it!" And when your incredulity fades as shock gives way to pleasure, why not say "Gee pal, I appreciate the great news. It was really nice of you to break it to me." 4) "No problem!"(This has long been an irritant that now almost totally dominates telephone conversations, especially during customer service business calls. There is again, the brevity of assuring all that any reflection or cogitation about the matter or qualms about a product or a service and the shipping involved are totally unnecessary endeavors. In short, "stop worrying and most importantly, stop thinking so that this exchange can end sooner rather than later" and so that the entrepreneur or his agent can get on to another call to enable more orders to be processed and more profits to be made.) Suggestion: return to the quaint but thoughtful "Oh, yes sir, that is what we shall do to expedite your order and yes, the product will be delivered on or before the date I indicated. Yes, we will attend to that special feature that you requested and I have made a note of the special handling you requested. IF there are any questions that come up, please feel free to call me, Mr. So and So, at this number and my private extension ABC or that of my associate Mrs. Jane Doe at extension XYZ. You are very welcome. It's our pleasure to serve you. Good bye."
Well, I believe I'll say "goodbye" as well. Hopefully, a point or two has been made and received as helpful. The time that is required to express a clear and heartfelt thought is not so great that the above short-cuts are acceptable or as valuable as the tried and true methods that our beautiful English language affords us. Words are not merely "words." They can enlighten. They can obfuscate. But most importantly, they have the power to delight and to raise our spirits as well as consciouness and increase our knowledge and wisdom. Why deaden that richness of possibilities, i.e. that "nerve", with brain atrophying utterances like "later, dude", "cool" or the afore mentioned examples? Better to cling to a silence that may be interpreted as studied, rightly or wrongly, but that will not inflict any harm or disappointment, while allowing one's opposite communicant an opportunity to use his/her imagination about your "depth" and contemplative capacities. In other words, "shut up!", in the traditional sense of the phrase.
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